7.1.1976

Felt great this morning in the confidence that I could stick to my diet easily. I reinforced that suggestion by a short period of non-hypnotic suggestions and felt even more confident. A diet is step one in a series to make me a more confident person in all respects, not only with the girls. I realise that the end result, while being a great improvement, would not exactly be a Paul Newman (why do I always quote him?!)
Last year was very fatalistic in approach, but now I see the potential of the mind (over the body as well as itself) I have become much more self determining.
My aims for this first step are not immodest. I do so want to have a mutual emotional attachment to Margaret, a platonic relationship. She is fascinating and her enigmatic nature acts as a spur to my desires, raises me to greater heights. She brings out the remnants of my idealism, which is a very good thing. Beauty is many different things and she is one form that particularly appeals to me.
She sits with an aura of quiet, but not aloof, sophistication, when the other girls talk loudly of boys, boys and boys - Ugh! While other girls' worlds revolve around transient encounters with the opposite sex, she keeps her thoughts to herself about it. While other girls disdain learning and beautiful works, she does not allow herself to be blinded.