Monday 5 July 1976 emotion

Very nice to get away from the Hell, God knows how I’m going to last the whole summer holidays down in that hole.

Went round to Sue’s house in the evening, then we walked to Dane’s Dyke. I had been quite looking forward to seeing her, especially after being in that hole. Very pleasant walk, despite the holiday makers. Our relationship moved a little further from the purely platonic ideal, but that’s predictable. I feel no violent extremes of emotion, not even a sort of self-created emotional enthusiasm that I sometimes found in the past. I feel a sense of warmness, or rather the absence of any sorts of gnawing feeling inside, that sometimes comes upon me when I’m alone at night, which leaves a dull emptiness as if there were something not quite right.