23.2.1976

I’m well into the half-term doldrums that I determined I wouldn’t get into before we broke up. Apart from a very little Russian I did nothing... but I thought about a lot of things.

Sometimes I think I have found a solution to the social activity problem. Steve’s a good kid and I love him (in the friendship sense that is) and Tim and Nige are good fun to go out boozing with. However, at this rate I’ll get into a rut, especially as Steve has had no real experience with the opposite sex. I find myself saying oh yes....our party....booze, good music...birds BUT the right sort of birds i.e. sorts that will do for Steve as well.

I admit my own limitations in the mating stakes – physical – but I have to find some solution to Steve’s problem before I can find one for myself; indeed the second is a corollary to the first. As mentioned previously I am aspiring after a relationship with the emphasis on spiritual unity, but that is because I’ve had some experience sexually. Steve is starting from scratch, as it were. Things will work out – I’ll make them!